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Bereavement

A discussion of the effects of bereavement on both the remaining cagemates, newly-lone rats, and humans.

Do I need to show the remaining rats the body?

You don't need to do this. Myself and experienced owners have not found it makes any difference to the rats' grieving process. If it helps you, there is no harm in doing it. Just be sure to remove the body after a few minutes.

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'Cleaning up'

Rats have a natural instinct to clear up the body of cagemates who have passed. In the wild, this helps to keep them safe. It stops any predators being attracted to their nest by the scent. Sometimes rats may bury their deceased cagemate under substrate, and other times they may begin to consume the body. This can be really horrible and distressing for you to see. It's important to remember it's a natural behaviour for rats, and they don't mean any disrespect - it's more a sort of rat funeral. If you see this, you may need some time to process and it's okay if you need to mentally step back from your remaining rats for a few days, as long as they are still getting the care they need.

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What if this leaves one of my rats on their own?

Your remaining rat will need rat company. This can be a really hard time to make decisions, but it's important that you try to do what is best for your rat. I would never advise keeping a rat alone - even elderly rats can introduce to new friends very successfully. Rats who are too unwell to undergo introductions, even to calm friends, are probably unwell enough that you may want to consider putting them to sleep.

 

Why can't I keep my rat alone?

Rats need rat company. Humans cannot replace same-species company, and keeping a social species alone is not good pet ownership. One of the five welfare needs is 'to be housed with or apart from other animals as appropriate for the species'.

Rats are exceptionally social animals and have really complex relationships with one another, and it's not fair to deprive them of that. If you've homed your rats from a breeder you've likely had to agree that you'd take steps to ensure your rat is never left without rat company. Rats kept alone may seem happy because they'll seek out human contact - but this is a symptom of their loneliness rather than a good thing.

What are my options for a lone rat?

If you want to continue keeping rats:

Option 1: You can search for rescue rats to join your lone rat. You can try online groups such as Rat Rescue Network UK - they have a 'rats wanted' thread which is used to notify you when rats are avalible in your area.

Option 2: Speak to a breeder about kittens. This may involve a fair wait, although we can often prioritise lone rats. Even if we aren't planning litters for many more months, we may know other breeders who have litters planned in the near future. We also sometimes know of rescue rats looking for homes.

Option 2.5: Whilst you are waiting for kittens, you may be able to find a short-term foster for your rat. Many breeders are happy to take in a lone rat and provide them with company, and return them to you with new kittens. You may also find someone able to lend you one of their rats for a few weeks, although this is less likely.

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If you want to stop keeping rats:

Option 1: If your rat is from a breeder, they will be happy to take your rat back under any circumstances, even if they are elderly or poorly. They will either rehome them to a suitable home with company, or they may be able to keep them permanently themselves. Reputable rescue centres will also take back rats homed and will be able to find them company and a new home.

Option 2: (rats from a backyard breeder or pet store). You can privately rehome your rat online. Rat Rescue Network UK is a great Facebook group for this, as are local rat club pages, but please ask any prospective home lots of questions. It's okay if you want a certain kind of home (e.g. a really experienced owner, an owner with a small group etc.) but do factor in that your rat is going to need company as soon as possible. Lots of people will be happy to keep you updated on your rat's life - I have taken on several bereaved oldies myself and all settled remarkably well and lived many months here, happy and with friends.

Option 3: Borrowing rats. Some breeders will allow you to borrow a pair of rats, and return them once your remaining rat has passed. I will make it clear that this is quite rare! There are breeders who will do this, but many will not. I myself did not do this when I bred - my rats are my beloved pets and I don't think its fair for them to leave their group and owner, particularly when you factor in that the whole concept involves them being bereaved and then uprooted all over again. Equally, it's no easier for most breeders to part with their rats than it is for any pet home.

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How might my rats feel?

This can really vary. Most of the time, rats do not seem to grieve. Sometimes they may be a little subdued for a day or two and then return to their normal selves. Very rarely, some rats can struggle a bit more. Death of a close rat (e.g. a sibling) can sometimes be difficult for a rat, even with other cagemates. I've only seen this a few times, but bereavement can sometimes cause a worsening of existing health issues. For example, when Storm died, her sister Rain developed symptoms of heart failure (a stress-linked condition).  If you have two very unwell rats, it can be worth putting them both to sleep together rather than put them through the stress of bereavement only for them to pass a little while later anyway.

How can I help my rats?

Distraction often helps - I usually make a tasty fresh meal after a bereavement as it gives my rats something to focus on together. Sometimes I'll change the cage layout up as well. It's totally okay if you don't feel like doing anything. Take care of yourself first, rats are remarkably resillient.

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Hierarchy changes

Bereavement can sometimes cause hierarchy changes. Your rats may squabble a bit more as they try to find out where they fit in the new social order. If you need to, you can repeat introductions to rebond the group, but usually they will settle without this. Bucks losing a strong alpha may struggle more than other groups. Bucks in general are more sensitive to hierarchy and also less tolerant of change.

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Euthanasia and guilt

We can often feel really guilty when we make the choice to have our rats put to sleep. We may have doubts - 'was it the right time? too soon? too late?' and these feelings are really normal. Having your rat put to sleep to prevent or allieviate suffering is the kindest thing we can do for our pets. Your rats will have felt loved and your decision has meant they are now at peace. If you are finding it hard to cope, reach out to friends, loved ones, or online. Not everyone 'gets' rats, but those that do will understand how you feel and will want to support you.

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Am I 'replacing' my rat?

We may often feel guilty for getting new rats, but we don't need to feel this way. Our rats loved their lives with us, and they would not judge us if we want to share our lives with more rats in the future. I am sure they would completely understand and would probably be happy that we're able to offer more rats the same wonderful life they had.

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Is it okay not to try every option?

This is something I think needs to be talked about more. It is completely okay not to try every single option. Our vets will often give us a long list of things we can try, and sometimes this isn't right for our rats. Rats who find handling stressful may find being medicated really hard, and sometimes we try one thing and by the time we come to the next, our rat is already struggling too much for it to be right to keep trying. Decisions around euthanasia are so dependent on the individual rat - I have had rats put to sleep where I would keep trying with another, and that's fine because that was what was right for them. Their personalities and life experiences vary so much, and what's right for one rat may be quite different to what's right for another, even a sibling. As long as your decision is driven by what's best for the rat, then you've made the right choice.

Accidental and sudden deaths

Accidental or sudden deaths can be even harder to deal with than other bereavements. I've lost many rats over the years, but the ones I struggled with the most were those that I felt were 'unfair' or those I didn't see coming. For example, I lost Volsung to an accident when he was 1 - a hormonal cagemate pushed him from a hammock and he fell and hit his jaw on a perch. Despite medication and monitoring, his jaw set wrong and was causing him so much discomfort that he needed to be put to sleep. We can often feel that we've done something wrong when an accident happens like this. But try to think about what is realistic - if I had given my rats a setup where falls were impossible, they would have had a boring, empty life with little to do and enjoy. Volsung may have had a short life, but it was a happy one. If you're blaming yourself, it can help to talk things over with someone you trust.

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Did I miss something?

We'll often look back and think 'did I miss signs of illness? could I have started treatment sooner?'. These feelings are really normal. Rats hide pain and illness very well, so we often don't get much time to treat things. Sometimes we may also not realise that we're seeing a symptom of illness, if we've never encountered that health issue before. We all learn and grow all the time, and you can't possibly know everything or see everything coming.

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What do I do with the body?

Some people bury their rats in the garden, or in a large flowerpot outside. Others take them to a pet crematorium, or ask the vets to dispose of them. Others may have little attachment to a body and are happy to throw it away. Anything you want to do is fine, and this is a really personal choice. If you'd like to keep the body, but can't, you could consider a memorial item such as a clay sculpture or drawing. There are many great artists in the rat community who make these sorts of things.

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